B is for Breakfast

For the past month our boss has been preparing for, and many of our students have been diligently rehearsing for, perhaps the greatest moment of their young lives: The 21st Sang Jin Academy English Speech Contest.

Though I poke fun, these speech contests are pretty serious business at our academy. The children vie for a spot at the multi-yearly events, and spend an entire month memorising and practicing some fairly difficult English speeches. I have trouble memorising passages in my own language, let alone a foreign one, and these kids have matching hand actions to boot.

We're just beginning to figure out why the students find these contests so appealing. Although performing memorised speeches may not be the contest of choice in North America, I'm pretty sure it has an allure similar to spelling bees and talent shows: the recognition of achievement, and perhaps more importantly, the awarding of prizes. I can get down with that.

This Monday evening all that preparation came to a head and half the academy (along with their parents) came out to a local hall to support their friends and children.

(The assembled gathering and nervous contestants.)

Shayne and I, along with some of the other part-time foreign teachers, were there as the exalted judges, and I had the added duty of being the MC. Let's just say that any butterflies that threatened to burst from their cocoons went back to sleep after I realised that the majority of those gathered would have little idea of what I was saying. Even if one of them caught a stumble they would automatically assume it was some sophisticated nuance of English grammar. And the other judges wouldn't sell me out - they were just there for the free vitamin drinks. I couldn't lose!

(Me plotting to change "And next up is Soo Hae for her speech" to "Sirrah, hail forth fair Soo Hae and regale us with your recitation." Tee hee!)

First up though, was our boss, Mrs. An, to explain everything in Korean. We're not sure what she said, we just know that it took a long time. Thank goodness for those vitamin drinks.

What became apparent eventually, however, was that Mrs. An was preparing the audience for a brief English lesson - and I was the teacher! She then had me come up on the stage and repeat the words "thank you very much" and "breakfast" about a dozen times each, allowing the hundred or so people present to emulate my pronunciation each time. I'm not sure how someone could possibly note the position of my tongue and lips from fifty feet away, but hopefully my extreme embarrassment paid off in some small way. It did provide some first class entertainment for the other judges though. Sigh.

Once the contest got underway we were faced with the task of judging 19 little kids on their memorisation and pronunciation. Thankfully we were spared from having to publicly crush the little tykes, as we were able to keep our judgments secret on a tally sheet. Above is little Chul Jin giving his speech, "I Like Candy." Definitely one of the cuter kids that night; just look at those giant lollipops and his scared little face. Priceless.


Here's another student, Chan Woo, reciting the Yoric speech from Hamlet. Just joking, he's telling a joke about a genie and 3 guys on a desert island.

Anyways, after the speeches, each of the foreign teachers (that's me, Shayne, and one of the part-timers who got suckered in) had one of our classes come up to perform a song. We'd been working on this for a month, and had a little inside bet on whose class would do the best. Surprising us all, including himself, Shayne's class wiped out the competition with a rendition of "It's a Small World." The critics have been silenced: a tone-deaf individual can indeed teach a group of children to sing a song well. I've included the video below for your listening pleasure. (Editors note: for some reason the YouTube video didn't align the sound correctly, so there's a bit of a lag between the action and the music. You can get the idea though.)



At the end of the night, all the students were brought up to the stage for the awards. Unfortunately (taking a cue from American culture), there really was only one prize: first. All the other kids got a set of notebooks (all the better to write lines with m'dear).

After the obligatory photos, and "thank you" dinner with the other judges and teachers, the event was officially over. Our boss was satisfied, the kids seemed happy, and we went home for some well-deserved sleep.

Jo

Expats Behaving Badly

Ahhh, Halloween. The only time of the year where you're allowed to dress up and eat all of the candy that you want to. In a way it's like taking a time machine back to childhood (except with all of the benefits of being an adult, like liquor, kickass bedtimes, and no nervous parents checking for razors in the Tootsie Rolls).

As we mentioned before they don't technically celebrate Halloween in Korea, but that doesn't stop ambitious children from trying to milk the local Expats of all their candy. It also doesn't stop the local teachers from partying it up and from finding whatever costumes are available to buy.

Jo and I were invited to go to a party downtown with some friends and found ourselves with the interesting problem of having to locate one of said costumes. After raiding the bargain bin at a local department store we set out for the pub downtown that was hosting the soiree.


As you can see, my and Jo's creativity only spreads so far. She threw on some devil horns (to pull together a pretty sexy she-devil look, if I do say so myself) and I put on a monster mask. I suppose that I could have done a little more to look scary. But in my defense a lot of men find wearing pink to be a pretty scary feat in itself.

Our friends Kate and Adamo put more effort into their look. In Korea it's pretty common to see couples wearing matching outfits so they decided to follow that fashion trend.

As you can see they make a lovely Korean couple. Their beautiful shirts proudly proclaim their love for Ulsan. The best part is that most Koreans probably didn't even realize that they were wearing costumes.


I'm not entirely sure what our friend Robin is supposed to be. I think that he's supposed to be a Vietnamese farmer or rebel but I don't remember what he told me as I was a little....hmmm...a little under the weather, yeah that's it.

I don't know who the guy standing beside him is. But it looks like a skeleton and a clown hooked up and gave birth to his face.

This was by far our favorite costume of the night (if you look carefully you can actually see that there are two aliens). These guys spent a lot of time on their costumes and it shows. They were wearing stilts and towered over the rest of the crowd. This is the kind of costume Jo and I would have worn if we weren't lazy. Damn our lazy nature, damn it to hell.

After a few drinks and some mingling we were informed that the night's festivities included a parade and a costume contest in front of a department store. On a normal day white and black people attract a lot of attention in Korea. We're stared at all the time and it's impossible to blend in. Now imagine what it would be like with 50 or so foreigners dressed in crazy costumes (keeping in mind that Korean's don't celebrate Halloween) walking through the streets.

At first we were hesitant but after our trepidation fought our inebriation, and lost, we left for the parade.

The pictures are a little fuzzy (as our condition worsened as the night went on) but you can kind of see below what the parade looked like:

The bar even had a banner made for the event. The parade route was about ten blocks long and we certainly attracted our fair share of attention.



Most of the locals were really, really surprised but in good spirits when they spotted us. As you can see by the man above.

After a few minutes we attracted a fairly large crowd as dozens of locals ran up to the parade trying to snap photos of the crazy waygooks. Thankfully for me I was wearing a mask and won't have to see myself on the cover of "Stupid Foreigners" anytime soon. However, here's hoping that Jo makes it.


Here's a photo of the costume contest that took place at the end of the Parade. It had everything from a Spice Girl, to the cast of the Wizard of Oz, to the cool green aliens. Personally I think that the girl in the devil horns stole the show. Unfortunately the judges were biased against lazy people and awarded the aliens the top prize.

After the festivities the hosts announced that we would be marching to a famous intersection and taking it over for a few minutes to get an overhead snapshot of the group. This is probably where common sense should have kicked in, but it seems that inebriation once again took control of the ship. Our group marched to the intersection and did indeed walk out into the middle of it for a photo of the largest assembly of constumers in the city's history.

The "professional" photographer probably got a great shot from his rooftop perch but this was all I could manage to pull off:


I barely managed to get half the crowd into the photo and didn't capture the traffic waiting on all four sides either. I'm not sure how much the Koreans enjoyed the drunk waygooks blocking their roads but for the most part they were pretty cool about it.

The only vehicle that seemed antsy about the situation was this guy:


Haha, in retrospect we're probably lucky this bus didn't mow us all over. The people in the windows look a little shocked and annoyed. If drunk Russians were blocking my way back in Canada I would probably get pissed. Luckily for us the Koreans understand the power of inebriation and were mellow.

After the photo we made our way back to the bar for some discussions on Marxist vs Hegelian dialectics. Or maybe we just went back and drank a lot. Who can remember these things?

Judging from this photo you can bet that Joanna sure doesn't remember. It's not everyday you see a whole bottle of wine emptied into just two glasses, good times.

Once the pub kinda' died down a couple of us went out to a Norae Bang, otherwise known as a Korean Karaoke Joint.

The Karaoke situation in Korea is intense and completely different from back home. Instead of being in one big room with dozens of strangers, you rent out individual rooms and party with friends.


The room we had was great and included nine televisions, a giant leather couch, 4 big speakers, and enough English songs to entertain two drunk Canadians, a drunk Scot, and a drunk Aussie.

I'm not going to say too much about the experience because it warrants its own blog. But I will leave you with this sexy shot of a future Frank Sinatra:


That's right ladies and gentlemen, not only do I play Korean karaoke rooms but I'm available for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and special romantic evenings when your old Michael Bolton tape just won't cut it.

We were out until 4 in the morning and it was definitely the best Halloween we've had in years.

Hopefully all of you have a great Halloween and remember to not eat any candies that haven't been checked by a reliable adult.

Cheers

Shayne

I'll take HodgePodge for 500 Alex!

Greetings

When I sat down to write a blog I realized that there were a lot of things that I wanted to talk about that weren't interesting or long enough to warrant their own blogs. Thus, I'm going to subject the loyal fans of Shayne and Jo.com (now the 199,765,876th most popular site on the internet) to a hodgepodge of recent stories and events.

First, as most of you are probably aware, I'm a slurpee fiend. There's nothing I love more than the cold refreshing taste of frozen cola sliding down my throat. In fact, in high school and university I used to drink over a litre of slurpee at one sitting, which in retrospect probably explains why I gained 70 pounds during those years.

I was shocked when I moved to Korea and found myself without access to slurpees. I tried calling Sally Struthers to assist me, but apparently the children of Africa still take precedent. Undaunted, I continued my search for months on end. But as I mentioned in August nothing was going to stop me from finding the Korean slurpee, and I'm proud to announce that a few weeks back I was successful.

Everland, Everland, Everland. Of course the Disneyland of Korea would be the one place that sells slurpees. Every Magic Kingdom needs to be equipped with them; it's the law. I think I scared the attendant when I ran to her booth shouting about how beautiful it was and how I was in love. She was relieved when it became clear that I meant the machine and not her.

Jo and Soon Tae probably thought I was crazy posing with the slurpee lady. But they didn't think I was so crazy when minutes later they were enjoying the fruits of my labour:


Here's Jo and Soon Tae enjoying a classic strawberry slurpee. I had been hoping for a Coke Slurpee, hell I would have even settled for a Pepsi one (maybe). But you know what they say, "in the land of Kimchi beggars can't be choosers."

Anyway, on to the second part of this blog: our door. In the summer we posted a blog about the daily barrage of advertisements we faced. Day after day dozens of advertisements would show up promoting everything from dried squid to pickled cabbage. Here, see for yourself:


Jo's brother Bryn suggested that we simply leave the advertisements on and see what happened after a month or two. We followed his suggestion and stopped cleaning the door every day after work. At first they just piled up. Soon there were dozens and dozens of the little billboards stuck to our door. But then one day something strange happened:


They just disappeared. Yep, one day they were all gone. And the process has been repeating itself ever since. I imagine that one of the neighbors grew tired with the unsightly mess and took the matter into his/her own hands. I think that we've turned into the equivalent of the one house on the block back in Canada that never mowed its lawn. How long until the neighbors start egging our place is anyone's guess.

So next Tuesday is Halloween and even though the Koreans don't actually celebrate it the children are really excited. They know that their Canadian teachers will spoil them with candy and as such Halloween has suddenly become the most important day of the year.

One of the characters most associated with Halloween is Dracula and the children love talking about him.

( The Conservatives eye another budget cut)

The other day in class I had a strange conversation, it went like this:

Shayne: What is Dracula?
Student: A vampire king!
Shayne: And what does Dracula drink?
Student: (very happily) Pee!!

At first I thought the student was trying to be rude for the benefit of his class. In between holding my own laughter, and wondering how my life had gotten to this point, I blurted out "what are you talking about? That's not funny." To which he replied "funny no, but he drinks pee, pee, pee!"

Then several of the other students pretended to bite each other while shouting "pee, pee, pee!" I realized that I was either missing something or I was witnessing a really good organized effort to pull a gag. It turned out it was the former as the Korean teacher came into the room and clarified that blood in Korean is pronounced "pee." Haha, an experience right up there with the salsa episode.

Lastly, today I got my haircut. Back home this wouldn't be worth mentioning but here it was a major event in my life. Luckily I found a place where the stylist spoke English and didn't try to give me a mullet like so many Koreans tend to rock.

The children are like hawks when it comes to noticing any small detail about my appearance. Combine that with the fact that they don't understand the concept of 'inner thoughts' (often telling the various teachers they look fat, etc) and I was a little worried how they would handle my haircut. As you can see I decided to go a little shorter than usual:

The only people in Korea who have hair this short are the men enlisted in the army. The children were as brutal as I expected so I decided to share some of their reactions with you. Thankfully some were a lot nicer than others:

"Teacher looks like a monkey"

"Teacher looks ugly"

"Teacher looks like good hair style"

"Teacher looks like white soldier"

"Teacher, good, look" (poor little Jun Suk, one day he will grasp sentences)

"Teacher looks like monkey excrement left in the sun too long (ok, that one was Jo)

Alrightttttttttty, that's about it. That ended up being a lot longer than I thought. But together we tied some loose ends, made a few friends, and learned about how important telling the truth is. Well, one out of three ain't bad.

Cheers

Shayne

Rubber Ducky You're the One

Greetings


When you think of Korea a few things come to mind: Kimchi, the Joseon Dynasty, Nuclear Bombs, and course MoGyoTongs. Since we can't afford any plutonium of our own we will have to hold off on the blog about the bomb. In the meantime we thought it was time to talk about mogyotongs. Translated, this term simply means bathhouse. But trust me when I say that they are much, much more than that.

Our experience with Korean bathhouses began in August when we discovered that our gym membership included access to a bathhouse as well. I guess I should explain a little more before I get ahead of myself. Korean bathhouses are very much a part of the Korean social fabric and not only help to clean millions of Koreans daily, they also provide them with a way to chat, gossip, and as we have learned, sometimes to even let loose.

All of this, of course, occurs while the patrons are totally nude. Yep, you read it right, bathhouses only allow birthday suits and smiles. They are also segregated by gender with men and women having their own floors all to themselves... which is probably wise considering the whole nudity thing.

Being from the west, and having never showered naked in front of people before we were a might bit nervous about enjoying this particular Korean tradition. But curiosity soon gave way to fear, and we threw off the clothes and hit the showers. This blog's intent is to allow you to see what a Mogyotong is like while keeping your own clothes on. Sadly, the managers did not take kindly to us trying to sneak the camera in, so I was forced to replicate our experiences with the use of Microsoft Paint and my uncanny ability to create masterpieces of art.




This is a drawing of what the men's bathhouse looks like. There are several dozen showers in one corner which do a fine job of recreating what the prison experience must be like. I've often contemplated selling soap on a rope outside of the building and seeing just how much money I could make. The men actually share communal bars of soap while the women have to bring their own. This is probably due to women being too sensible to share bars of soap with hundreds of strangers. But I find that once you remove all of the loose hairs the soap works fine.

There are four baths on the floor but only one of them can be used for more than two or three minutes. The mildly hot bath is great and I often spend 20 or 30 minutes a night there. However, the "Super Hot" bath hovers around 108 degrees and my personal record for sitting in it is around 1 minute or so. I can't actually report on the "God Damn Hot" bathtub as I have never actually sat in it. It's usually around 110 degrees and I've only seen one or two people use it in three months. I'm trying to master the Jedi mind powers needed to handle it but so far I have failed.

The last bath is ice cold and taunts me every time I walk into the bathhouse. I see it as a direct test of my manhood and force myself to not to only sit in it every night but to swim in it as well. This probably speaks a great deal about my own stupidity, but after getting beat up everyday by seven year-olds I need someway to reach my inner Rambo. The ice bath includes a waterfall that is activated by pulling a cord, and I often amuse the locals by trying to stand under it for several minutes at a time.

The thing that makes the bathhouse experience truly stand out are the characters that patronize it. In Korea white people still stand out and we're often a novelty no matter where we go. The bathhouse is no exception and children and their parents often stare or try their best to make conversation with us. One particular highlight was in September when a little girl sat down beside Jo and tried to talk to her using her two or three English words. What made this exceptional was that the little girl was eating a piece of meat on a stick and drinking juice at the time. Haha, I still laugh at the thought of Jo sharing a bathtub with a girl eating meat on a stick. It's against the rules of course but the girl's mother was nowhere to be found. Jo did her best to talk to the girl and to try to clean up the meat dribble that fell into the pool.

(My Beautiful Rendition of the Event)

As I mentioned the bathing experience is very social. Koreans help each other bathe in a manner that is different than we are used to. It's nothing at all for two men to help bathe each other, and fathers regularly help soap up their sons. I love my dad but Pamela Anderson will win an Oscar before I let him soap up my back. I think that's one cultural experience I will have to by-pass. According to our Korean friends, they grew up showering with their parents and think nothing of the experience. I respect their attitudes towards nudity but will need a little more time before I employ them myself.

Jo, on the other hand, was forced to come to terms with the shared bathing system at a much earlier time. She seems to have made a friend at the bathhouse who likes to walk over and help her bathe. The first time she just walked up behind her and started scrubbing her back with a loofa mitt, laughing at Jo's exclamations of shock and confusion. She does the same thing every time she catches Jo showering. This is actually a pretty nice thing to do here so Jo tries her best to go with the flow, but it can still be a little strange sometimes.

(I think I saw this in a movie once)

The Korean situation with nudity and same-sex touching is totally at odds with their views on same-sex relations. Homosexual relationships are not acknowledged and same-sex marriage is certainly not legal. But it's normal for men to hold hands or to wrestle naked in the showers or lather each other up. The first week at the bathhouse I thought I made a mistake and signed up for one of the ones San Francisco is famous for. Teen boys were chasing each other around naked and wrestling, and one night I even saw one guy wrap his legs around his friend and walk around the pool area wheelbarrow-style. I have included a nifty image of it below:

Not that there is anything wrong with any of this, but it's definitely different from the old YMCA back in Kelowna. It's also strange that with such a touchy-feely culture in the bathhouses that same-sex relationships are frowned upon. The coolest thing that I saw in this vein was a train of at least eight or nine men bathing each other in the shower area. That's something you don't see everyday.

(Chooo Chooo - All Aboard)

The bathhouse experience has been pretty cool all things considered. It's a great way to relax and after awhile the nudity ceases to be a big deal. A lot of this blog was poking fun at the mogyotongs but we really like them. We have been to a couple different ones now and each time it's been a great experience. With Europe and Asia's progressive stances on nudity, Canada seems to be puritanical by comparison.

In fact, looking back on things it seems really strange that we were once scared of public nudity. Nowadays it's just a part of the routine.

Hmm, this doesn't bode well for our return to the Canadian way of life. The YMCA will never be the same.

Cheers

Shayne

The Power and the Glory

Our "home" city of Ulsan doesn't boast much: It doesn't have the amenities or attractions of Seoul, it is without the metropolitan feel and nightlife of Busan, and it can't compete with the historic sites of Gyeongju. But what Ulsan lacks, it more than makes up for by pure strength of will. I am talking about the industrial monolith that is but a twenty minute walk away from our apartment: Hyundai Heavy Industries.

For those of you as ignorant about HHI as we were when we arrived in Korea, here's a little background info: In 1972 the Hyundai shipyard was built in Ulsan and quickly became one of the largest in the world. Within a decade it was leading the world in shipbuilding, and now dominates with a 45% share of the market and well over 10 billion dollars in annual sales.

As our boss' husband is in management at HHI, he agreed to take us on a personal tour of the shipyard this past Sunday. We'd been looking forward to this for weeks, as we'd seen glimpses of the giant ships and were eager to see more.

Our first stop, however, was lunch. Mrs. An's husband (I'd use his name here but we can't remember it...both husbands and wives keep their original family name when they marry, so it's not Mr. An...we think it might be Mr. Kim, but we're not sure) wanted to treat us to a meal and he brought us to a restaurant where he often brings foreign visitors to HHI. The restaurant specialised in dolsot yeongyangbap, which when literally translated means "stone pot nutritious rice."

(Stone pot nutritious rice in the flesh.)

We were pretty excited as we'd never had dolsot yeongyangbap before, but we were even more excited when we saw that they'd got us a table with chairs.

(Our boss and her husband, and Shayne who's smiling because his legs are cramp-free.)

(Our table packed to capacity with side dishes...the Koreans really know how to put together a meal.)

We really enjoyed the first part of the meal, which was just a lot of rice and side dishes, but we weren't so enthusiastic about part two. At the beginning of the meal, we scooped out all of the rice, and then filled the hot stone pot with rice water, and set it aside. After we were finished with the side dishes, we then ate the resulting rice water soup. It tasted just like you would think.

After lunch we headed over to HHI. We love to give you a long slideshow of everything we saw, but photos weren't allowed except in a couple of cases. So, you'll have to make do with our one measly photo and what we were able to poach off the internet.

The first part of the tour was the presentation gallery at the front gates. We were shown around model ships, a dancing industrial robot, and a model of a futuristic island city by an enthusiastic Korean tour guide. The presentation was pretty impressive, not even including the George Jetson-style city, and we were left contemplating whether a career in shipbuilding wasn't for us, what with the $51 million in scholarships they dole out every year (we should note here that from the executives to the janitors, the children of every employee get free post-secondary education).



We then went on a drive around the massive shipyard - and it is huge at almost 2,000 acres. The big orange things in the picture (the only picture we were able to get, by the way) are a couple of the many dry docks where the big ships are assembled piece-by-piece. At one point in the tour we got stuck behind one of these pieces being transported through the yard and taking up about 6 lanes-worth of traffic in the process.


Here's one of the ships they build here, and we saw about 10 of this type in construction or waiting for delivery throughout the yard (they build about 70 ships total here per year).

I really wish we were able to take more photos, because we would probably have taken 100 (something about corporate spies, or something). It was the most steel either of us have ever seen. Now we know why nearby Pohang has the world's largest smelter.

After the shipyard, Mrs. An's husband drove us to see some of the community projects HHI has built in Ulsan. Apparently our district (Dong-Gu) is so well provided by HHI, that the municipal government directs most of their funds elsewhere in the city. They run 2 kindergartens, 2 middle schools, 2 high schools, Ulsan College, and Ulsan University. Apart from education, they've built 16,000 apartments for their employees (which they sell to them at reduced rates), 6 recreation centres, a hospital, a stadium, and a bunch of other amenities. After running through everything they've contributed to the community, we began to be simultaneously disturbed by the little corporate kingdom they're building here in Ulsan, and jealous about what they're able to accomplish in comparison to our own governments back home.



We ran across this group of high school students at one of the outdoor recreation centres HHI has built. They were playing basketball, and as soon as they saw us they ran over and began listing off all the American basketball players they know. The highlight was when Mrs. An asked which of them was the best at English, and half of them started jumping up and down proclaiming "I am! I am!" If a forty-something year-old woman in North America showed up at a basketball court and asked some teenagers "who here is the best at French?" she would probably get flipped the bird.


Here we are in front of a soccer statue and the Dong-Gu library built by HHI. After learning about the library Mrs. An took us inside to see if there was any English language books. We discovered a whole section of a shelf devoted to English literature, and having discovered this in Ulsan of all places, we were ecstatic. We were a little amused, though, when we discovered that half of the English books they had on offer were such accessible works as William James, Freud, and Dostoevsky. I feel bad for any Koreans who try to improve their English by tackling these bad boys. Fortunately for them (and for us) the other half of the books were a good selection of the bestseller paperbacks that you'd find back home. We applied for our library cards and came away with a couple of paperbacks and the complete works of Homer for good measure.

All in all it was a pretty good Sunday, and we came away a lot more informed about the patron saint of Ulsan. We've been really lucky to have such good hosts in Korea, who are willing to spend entire days showing us around. Maybe one day we'll be able to return the favour.

Until next time,
Jo

If you Ain't got Seoul, You Ain't got Nothing - Part 2

Greetings,

When we left off a few days ago, we had shown you all the sights we saw in Seoul. For the last two days of our trip, we decided to go outside of the city for a couple of side trips.

On day three we headed out to Everland, Korea's answer to Disney Land, minus the small bank loan needed to enjoy it. When we walked through the main gates, it was like we were back in California: a happy theme song played over the loud speakers, happy Koreans waved at us from every direction with their curious two-handed wave, and the place was decked out like small town, USA, complete with thousands of Halloween decorations.

(Our first sight of Everland. Not nearly enough characters in costume.)

Our host, Soon Tae, had been before so he led us to the better rides and away from the crappier ones. Of course we hit the two roller coasters first, and with those out of the way we decided to head for an attraction that would probably never survive in North America.

The ride was a safari-like tour with real animals. Unlike a real safari, however, we didn't ride out over miles of savannah terrain, but through a small, lightly forested compound. Also unlike a real safari, this one had ligers. Yes, apparently tigers and lions will mate when thrown together. Apart from being baffled at the actual existence of ligers, we were both really saddened by the animals in captivity. Their enclosures weren't ridiculously small, but what with 1,000 buses driving through every day of the year, they couldn't lead a happy, stress-free existence.

(A tiger.)

(A bear.)

This is the first bear that either of us had ever seen up close that wasn't living in a garbage dump or chasing John Candy around.

We included this picture to highlight the true absurdity of some of the rides. This is the first time we've ever seen a water ride that came equipped with protective tarps. Afterwards when Jo emerged from the ride, the attendant didn't believe her that the wet spot on her pants was from her juice. Why would Jo bring juice on a ride, you ask? I'm sure that will be the subject of great conversations for years to come.

One of the reasons we decided to go to Everland instead of one of the closer amusement parks was because of what you see here. The park put on a half-an-hour traditional Korean performance that included dancing, drummers, acrobatics, tight-rope walking, and a comedy routine that defied translation. We simply laughed when everyone else laughed and hoped for the best. We could have been laughing at jokes about how stupid Canadians are for all we know.

It's hard to tell from the picture, but the white ribbons that you see circling around the drummers were attached to their heads. They were spinning so fast that it took us about five minutes to notice this fact. Soon Tae told us that this style of performance is hundreds of years old, so despite the North American-style Halloween decorations in the background, we felt like we were getting a real Korean experience. The kind you can only get in a theme park owned by the Japanese.

Without a doubt this was the coolest part of the show. What we didn't capture on film was when the tight-rope walker started bouncing high in the air off of his nether regions. It was either the bravest or the stupidest thing we've ever seen, but apparently this too is traditional. (Jo's note: many of you probably think we're joking about this part, but believe me, there was nothing funny about what he did to his Charlie Browns.)

The show lasted about thirty minutes and we spent most of the time in awe. It was a much cooler way to celebrate Thanksgiving than watching football and Aunt Gerdie getting hammered on Almond Sherry.

Who said that theme parks can't be political? Here's a shot of Shayne and Soon Tae displaying their displeasure at the Iraq War, moments before being catapulted into space. (Shayne's note: the reason you don't see old chicken Groves in this photo is because apparently she doesn't enjoy having her stomach contents shaken out of her. I, on the other hand, do.)

Taking a turn for the serious, let's switch subjects onto Chuseok (pronounced Choo-sock). The next day Soon Tae's family kindly invited us to their own celebrations. At the crack of dawn we headed out to his uncle's apartment where his father's side of the family was all gathered. At first everything was very serious, as a table was laid out with a generous amount of food and rice wine for their ancestors. The men of the family then lined up in order of precedence and bowed several times to show respect for their forefathers. After this, everyone left the room to give the ancestors a chance to "eat" the food. We spent this time sitting on a bed grinning nervously to the old grandmother who spoke no English but smiled a lot.



When we came back the table was moved to the center of the room, the screen and incense put away, and the feast began. Normally only the men and the elderly eat first, but both of us sat down too as we were guests. The table was piled with dishes: several kinds of kimchi, ribs, rice cakes (the squishy kind, not the kind you spread with peanut butter), deep fried fish, mini omelette cakes, tofu, strange fruit, and rice, among other things. We ate until we were full, and then were pressed to eat more by Soon Tae's grandmother.

Apparently we were the first foreigners Soon Tae's grandmother had ever seen up close and in person, and it was the first time some of the family members had eaten with foreigners. We tried our best to leave them with good impressions of the West, although I think it would have been more amusing for them if we'd been hopeless at using chopsticks. We should note that everyone in the family was incredibly nice, and Soon Tae's aunt invited us back to her place for Lunar New Year in February. It was great to be included in a family's celebration when we were so far from home. Their kindness meant a lot.

After everyone had eaten, we decided to head out to see the DMZ (the De-Militarized Zone dividing North and South Korea), along with Soon Tae's brother and 3 cousins. We couldn't get a proper tour of the DMZ due to Chuseok and the late notice, but we could still drive up to the border and take a look. It sounded simple enough until we were stuck in 6 hours of traffic jams. Anyways, we don't really want to relive that horror, so let's just skip to the good parts.

(Here's a shot Shayne got driving along an inlet that separates the North and South. You can see a North Korean city way in the distance.)

All along the 38th parallel are the fences and razor wire you see above, along with guard posts every few hundred metres. For two Canadians who've only ever understood war through the evening news and movies, it was a daunting experience. There are literally thousands of landmines in between the two countries and as a side note, the DMZ was the reason that the Americans refused to sign on to the treaty banning landmines in the mid-90's.

When we finally arrived at the border, we were surprised by the lack of military and the presence of what appeared to be a small carnival. We learned that we were still 2 kilometres away from the actual border, and so this area outside the DMZ is more for Korean tourists than security.

That's not to say that it wasn't a sobering experience. Many of the Koreans who come here have family in the North and this is the closest they can be to them. The picture above is of "Freedom Bridge" where the POWs came across after the armistice. Today it is blocked by a barbed wire fence covered with flags, messages, and memorabilia in support of reunification. You can peek through the hangings and see a South Korean soldier guarding the beginning of the bridge, but not much else.

(In front of the hundreds of cards, posters, flags, and letters left behind for family members that will never see them.)

After the bridge we headed up to the observation platform to get a better view. The mountains you see in the background of this photo are in North Korea, but everything else is DMZ. To the right are the remains of a bridge destroyed during the war, and to the left is the "Freedom Bridge" which now takes tourists by train deep into the DMZ to Panmunjom, the village where the armistice was reached (a trip we'd still like to make still if tensions ease).
Another view of the "Freedom Bridge" which was renovated extensively years after the war ended.


The day that we left Soon Tae's mother prepared a traditional Korean breakfast. It was great and included everything from rice to soup to kimchi. Needless to say it sure beat the Cheerios we usually eat everyday.

Of course it made us wonder what sort of breakfast the younger generation makes when their parents aren't around to make such wonderful feasts.


Ah yes....now we know. The secret Korean tradition of doughnuts and coffee for breakfast.

Our trip was only four days but it felt like several weeks. We packed so much in and saw so many great things. We owe a huge thanks to Soon Tae and his family for everything they did for us. Just one more example of Korean kindness.

Anyway, that was our trip and we look forward to going back as soon as possible. Seoul is a beautiful city and is definitely the cultural hub of Korea. Of course it's no Ulsan, but then what is.

Cheers

Jo and Shayne