Well, at least we didn't get pantsed

Moving to a new city always presents the problem of making new friends and buddies. So far Jo and I have been fairly lucky considering that in only three weeks we have already made several friends and even more acquaintances. But you can never have enough friends and with that in mind we were really looking forward to this particular Saturday all month.

That was because Saturday was the annual foreigners Triathlon. An all day event designed to encompass meeting new people, playing team sports for 6 hours, and of course the age old hobby of drinking all day long.

This year’s scheduled sports were soccer, volleyball, and ultimate frisbee. Foreigners are divided into teams based on their nationality and then compete in an all day tournament for the year-long honour of being the best damn sports team in all of Ulsan. It’s kind of like the Olympics minus the talent, the crowds, and the steroids. Now everyone knows that Jo and I are far from athletic and usually don’t spend our weekends running about on a sports field but we thought we would give it a try and we were assured that the events were fun and definitely not competitive in nature.

So with that in mind we jumped on a bus and set out for the other side of town in order to compete in the name of Canada and the Queen (personally I was there on behalf of Prince Charles as I have always found him to be a lovely fellow). On the ride over we daydreamed about how great the fields were going to be. Korea is in love with soccer and it's no secret that it takes the game very very seriously. We were sure that the fields would be in world class condition and we were definitely not let down upon arrival.

We arrived to these beautiful fields and then enjoyed a day of laughter, camaraderie, and the finest beer in the world.

Oh, faithful readers, how I wish I could tell you that the day really turned out like that. But life is never predictable and thus neither was our first experience at the Triathlon. What we really arrived to looked more like this:

And like this:

And who could forget this:

After viewing the fields and realizing that we had worn expensive shoes that were designed to be run in but not to be washed with mud we decided that it was best to sit out of the sports and just watch from the sidelines.

Our plan might have worked too if it wasn’t for the fact that the majority of the members of Team Western Canada were too hung over to show up and play. We couldn’t let our team face disbandment so we ended up playing after all. Minus the mud, and our lack of athletic abilities, the day went well enough.

Unfortunately our team was more comparable to the Vancouver Canucks than to the Calgary Flames and we lost 5 games in a row.

(Shayne looking more like Captain Crunch than Captain David Beckham)

Now admittedly Joanna and I offered very little to the team. I think my biggest accomplishment was getting four points in volleyball and hers was finally getting her one kick at the soccer ball (and even though she missed the ball and fell to the ground in defeat it was a beautiful attempt anyway).

We were cool with our losses and it would have been fine to end the day 100- 0 but clearly some people disagreed. As the day progressed certain people became more and more competitive and were soon acting like we were the Italian national team instead of a bunch of fat foreigners playing in a mud puddle under an overpass.

Having realized our lack of skills the team soon understood that in order to win our role would have to be minimized. It’s been a long time since grade 11 PE but I soon remembered the shame that comes when someone doesn’t pass to you when you are wide open but instead tries to make a miracle pass to the guy blocked by 6 defenders because lord knows that even he has a better shot than you do. Haha, I was tempted to revert back to high school and run to my locker and cry under my giant poster of Britney Spears.

Soon the competitiveness spread to the other teams and I kid you not we almost witnessed a fight over ultimate frisbee. I can understand that people get worked up over competition. But please, golf sure, tennis Ok, hell even chess. But ultimate frisbee? What is going on with the world where people are taking throwing a frisbee seriously?

It seems that I traveled with the frisbee for too long and this really upset an opposing player. The dude looked like the kind of dork that after playing ultimate frisbee every day will run home and paint his collection of Orks a new color so that they will pose an even bigger threat to Frodo when they battle it out come Saturday night.

Anyway, a teammate of mine took offense to his taking offense and soon common sense took offense as words were said and anger projected over a flat disc and its been thrown (or rather traveled with).

Whew, after that paragraph I need a break.

(Here is Jo checking how much longer until we were free.)

(Team Western Canada. Most were really cool people and super friendly. Some, however, not so much. Points if you can guess who.)

I think that the idea behind the day was great and I give big props to those who organized it. But it wasn’t really our thing as we are just not that competitive when it comes to recreational sports. We did meet up with some acquaintances though and that was cool so the whole day wasn’t a bust.

One last thing though. I didn’t mention this but there were something like 6 different games to be played. There were 2 soccer games, 2 volleyball games, and two ultimate frisbee games. By the end we were so tired we could hardly move. Jo and I are more likely to hang out with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie than we are to jog or go for a run so by the end of the day we could barely hobble to a taxi.

(Yours truly and Jo looking a little worse for wear and praying for the invention of time travel to go back about, oh I don't know, 7 or 8 hours. And look at the shoes, our beautiful beautiful shoes, sigh.)

As soon as the last whistle blew we were on our way off the field equipped with enough new wisdom to know that the next time a day of organized sports rolls around we will lock our door and drown our sorrows in a bottle of soju and a plate of Kimchi.

Cheers

Shayne