Beauty school drop-out, go back to highschool

After two months of teaching overseas, Shayne and I thought it might be time to write a blog entry about work. We feel a little foolish not having done this earlier, but with so many secret rooftops, mystery toilets, and American convenience store chains to write about, we got a little distracted.

Teaching English is nothing like we expected (not that we really expected anything; we were too busy thinking about moving to Korea and traveling in Asia). Before we came, whenever we thought about what teaching would be like, we pictured rows of well-behaved Korean children, all eager to learn and speak English. What we discovered, however, is that Korean children are just like Canadian children (surprise of all surprises), and most of them find school boring and are just learning English because they have to.

(A view of our academy, located on the second floors of the first two buildings. The blue sign reads "Sang Jin Waygook Hagwon" - roughly translated: Sang Jin Foreign Academy.)

(You might recognize this advertisement from the latest issue of Vogue)

Here's a close-up of a banner that is hung beside our academy. If you look closely you will see that it's a picture of about 15 children, a few adults, and us. Imagine our surprise and chagrin when one day upon walking to school we found ourselves face to face with a ten foot photo of ourselves on the street for all of Korea to see.

We've since come to appreciate it, especially Shayne, who's always been a little bit of a spotlight hog. We've also been told that many models (ranging from Fabio to Kate Moss) got their start on banners outside of English academies. So today it's Ulsan, but tomorrow it's the world.

(Somewhere Dr. Atkins is rolling over in his grave)

Whoever came to the conclusion that Koreans have one of the healthiest diets in the world failed to study what their children eat in between classes. This is one of the many stores below our academy, and offers very little in the way of nutrition. However, if you're a fan of deep-fried squid, deep-fried pork, deep-fried chicken, deep-fried beef, and deep-fried deep-fried (yes, it does exist), then this is the place for you. Although we've been forced to try a bite or two from our students, we've mostly managed to avoid these places and our hearts are thanking us.

If you look closely you'll also notice a pile of Mr. Noodles, or as we Koreans say "Lah-mee-ahn." Only here you eat them uncooked, dipped in ketchup. The whole thing reminds us of a famous Confucian saying: "When sausage on stick is healthiest thing in restaurant...eat at home."

(Here's Jo's classroom, looking a lot calmer with no students in it.)

Although to you this is simply an empty classroom, to us it is a gentle beach in Thailand before a tsunami, a quiet trailer park before a tornado, or BC before Gordon Campbell...i.e. the calm before the storm cometh.

Thankfully the classes only hold around 15 students, as any more kids and we'd be coming back to Canada with white hair and in straightjackets.




This is simply a photo of one of Jo's classes hard at work. The Korean education system is completely different from its Canadian cousin. The children here attend public school from 8am until 3 or 4pm, and then spend hours at various academies. Some of our students seem to go to school for upwards of 12 hours, or more a day. Unlike in Canada, where children go home after public school, here they go to their music academy, science academy, math academy, english academy, and their pit fighting academy (only one of these is a joke, there actually is no music academy). Joking aside, the children here spend an immense amount of time studying and as a result often come to our classes half asleep and desperate to get some shut eye.

It's only been two months, so we can't properly compare the Canadian and Korean systems, but we can say that the Koreans place a much larger emphasis on education and its absolute correlation to success. Back home people are willing to at least consider the idea that you can be successful without an education but so far that doesn't seem to be the case here.

(These particular boys are writing "I will be quiet in class" over and over again as punishment. Oddly enough, it didn't lead to them be quiet but their penmanship is now superb. )

Here's another one of Jo's classes trying unsuccessfully to hide from the camera. We teach eight forty minute classes a day and although on paper six hours doesn't seem like a long time, by the end of the day we're barely able to function and sadly we have turned into the most hated people in the world, the pathetic ones who say "thank god it's Friday".

The old us would have beaten up the new us. Give us another two months and we will be walking around saying " LOL, T-G-I-F" and asking people "have you seen my stapler?



Here's a shot of Jo's favorite class. Although the younger ones are quick to smile the older children that we teach later in the day are more likely to recite Shakespeare than to smile. It must be Karma for all of the crap we pulled in school (Jo's note: I was always a perfect angel) because often talking to the teenagers is like talking to a wall. Thankfully the majority of the children we teach are young and therefore still pleasant.

It should be noted that they still use the strap in Korea (something that we are neither allowed or inclined to do). As guests in this country we generally refrain from commenting on the local practices but the use of the strap is something that greatly bothers us. One of Shayne's students had to wear a bandage for a few days after one of the Korean middle school teachers punished him.

This practice is something that many Korean parents disagree with though so its use might not last forever.

Aright, we are near completion of this post but before we go any further we have to issue a warning. What's below is both graphic and brutal. We highly recommend that any children or those with heart problems stop reading immediately.




Are you still here? Are you sure you want to see this?





No really, it might be wise to leave. Once you see this you will never be the same.





Alright, you asked for it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you....

THE SQUAT TOILET OF FURY

This badboy is in our school and it's what we face every time we drink too much water or allow our bodies to process food. They are all over Korea and unless you are a regular practitioner of Yoga they are a little hard to get used you and seem as scary as....well we can't actually think of anything that's as scary as these toilets.

Here's hoping that your days are long and your toilets are full sized.

Cheers

Shayne and Jo