A Giant of a Tale.

Greetings

Continuing on with the subject of school I thought I would share with you some of my students' work from the past week. But before I begin I want to tell you about my new Korean name. A few posts ago I told you how we are often given the task of assigning English names. Well, the children thought that it was only fair that I should be given a Korean name in return.

The process took several days and after much hemming and hawing they came up with the name Choi Hong Man (pronounced Che Hong Mun). I knew that the specificness of the name meant that it had to have some sort of special meaning (as I was just expecting a name like Byoung Gu or Dong Duk.) It turns out that they named me after a famous Korean Kickboxer. The students know that I love martial arts and since I'm always talking about it in class it was a natural fit.

In my mind I saw this....


I imagined some great Asian fighter like the fabulous Sakuraba (who although Japanese, allows you to understand what I was imagining). Instead, I later found out that when my students think of me they see this....



Ahhh, good old Choi Hong Man. He's 7'2" and over 400 pounds. He's the current K1 champion but he's considered to be somewhat of a freak. Everything about this guy is gigantic and on his best days he might be considered ruggedly passable but probably far from handsome. He certainly won't be starring in any Korean Romance movies anytime soon.

So when it comes down to it the students think I'm the Korean version of Andre the Giant. Haha, I can live with that. It's better than being the Korean version of Rosanne Arnold or something.

Wanting to risk further abuse I asked the children to draw everyone in the class including myself.

I've posted a few of the best ones and hope you enjoy them as much as we did.



Here's a great one that really depicts my hairy arms and legs. The Koreans seem to lack the ability to amass colonies of hair on their limbs and often they walk up to inspect my hair. I think that they want to see if it's real or not but let me tell you that strangers walking up and rubbing your arms can be a bit...well...strange, scary, annoying, creepy, and did I mention strange?


Here's a great one that really gives me an Italian vibe. I kind of look like Tony Danza or John Travolta before the weight or crazy religion. My favorite part is that I'm wearing red pants and a pink shirt and seemed to have shaved off one of my eyebrows. Hmm, this version of me definitely needs a rush visit to the set of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.



What teacher doesn't dream of being depicted standing on a student's head with his/her arms raised in victory? I could probably spend weeks analyzing this picture but instead I'm going to put it on my wall so I can admire its coolness each and every day.



This kid didn't mess around. He didn't waste time drawing a hairy person and instead cut to the chase with a beautiful rendition of me as King Kong. I even appear to have one of the students in my hand (possibly it's the young artist himself, who often finds himself in trouble in the class).



This one's pretty cool and thankfully it doesn't depict me as hairy or a blood thirsty killer. The lifelike image also captures the fact that the spelling of "brother" has always eluded me. My shame is now available for all of the world to see.



This one was by far my favorite. This is what happened when the version of me above visited the set of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Look at that hair and my hip green t-shirt, I'm styling and profiling at the same time. This was done by a 12 year old girl and although she made my nose half the size of my face it's the first time I have ever been drawn as an elf and think it's definetly a look that works for me.

Much like the sand in an hour glass, these are the days of our lives.

Cheers

Shayne

Beauty school drop-out, go back to highschool

After two months of teaching overseas, Shayne and I thought it might be time to write a blog entry about work. We feel a little foolish not having done this earlier, but with so many secret rooftops, mystery toilets, and American convenience store chains to write about, we got a little distracted.

Teaching English is nothing like we expected (not that we really expected anything; we were too busy thinking about moving to Korea and traveling in Asia). Before we came, whenever we thought about what teaching would be like, we pictured rows of well-behaved Korean children, all eager to learn and speak English. What we discovered, however, is that Korean children are just like Canadian children (surprise of all surprises), and most of them find school boring and are just learning English because they have to.

(A view of our academy, located on the second floors of the first two buildings. The blue sign reads "Sang Jin Waygook Hagwon" - roughly translated: Sang Jin Foreign Academy.)

(You might recognize this advertisement from the latest issue of Vogue)

Here's a close-up of a banner that is hung beside our academy. If you look closely you will see that it's a picture of about 15 children, a few adults, and us. Imagine our surprise and chagrin when one day upon walking to school we found ourselves face to face with a ten foot photo of ourselves on the street for all of Korea to see.

We've since come to appreciate it, especially Shayne, who's always been a little bit of a spotlight hog. We've also been told that many models (ranging from Fabio to Kate Moss) got their start on banners outside of English academies. So today it's Ulsan, but tomorrow it's the world.

(Somewhere Dr. Atkins is rolling over in his grave)

Whoever came to the conclusion that Koreans have one of the healthiest diets in the world failed to study what their children eat in between classes. This is one of the many stores below our academy, and offers very little in the way of nutrition. However, if you're a fan of deep-fried squid, deep-fried pork, deep-fried chicken, deep-fried beef, and deep-fried deep-fried (yes, it does exist), then this is the place for you. Although we've been forced to try a bite or two from our students, we've mostly managed to avoid these places and our hearts are thanking us.

If you look closely you'll also notice a pile of Mr. Noodles, or as we Koreans say "Lah-mee-ahn." Only here you eat them uncooked, dipped in ketchup. The whole thing reminds us of a famous Confucian saying: "When sausage on stick is healthiest thing in restaurant...eat at home."

(Here's Jo's classroom, looking a lot calmer with no students in it.)

Although to you this is simply an empty classroom, to us it is a gentle beach in Thailand before a tsunami, a quiet trailer park before a tornado, or BC before Gordon Campbell...i.e. the calm before the storm cometh.

Thankfully the classes only hold around 15 students, as any more kids and we'd be coming back to Canada with white hair and in straightjackets.




This is simply a photo of one of Jo's classes hard at work. The Korean education system is completely different from its Canadian cousin. The children here attend public school from 8am until 3 or 4pm, and then spend hours at various academies. Some of our students seem to go to school for upwards of 12 hours, or more a day. Unlike in Canada, where children go home after public school, here they go to their music academy, science academy, math academy, english academy, and their pit fighting academy (only one of these is a joke, there actually is no music academy). Joking aside, the children here spend an immense amount of time studying and as a result often come to our classes half asleep and desperate to get some shut eye.

It's only been two months, so we can't properly compare the Canadian and Korean systems, but we can say that the Koreans place a much larger emphasis on education and its absolute correlation to success. Back home people are willing to at least consider the idea that you can be successful without an education but so far that doesn't seem to be the case here.

(These particular boys are writing "I will be quiet in class" over and over again as punishment. Oddly enough, it didn't lead to them be quiet but their penmanship is now superb. )

Here's another one of Jo's classes trying unsuccessfully to hide from the camera. We teach eight forty minute classes a day and although on paper six hours doesn't seem like a long time, by the end of the day we're barely able to function and sadly we have turned into the most hated people in the world, the pathetic ones who say "thank god it's Friday".

The old us would have beaten up the new us. Give us another two months and we will be walking around saying " LOL, T-G-I-F" and asking people "have you seen my stapler?



Here's a shot of Jo's favorite class. Although the younger ones are quick to smile the older children that we teach later in the day are more likely to recite Shakespeare than to smile. It must be Karma for all of the crap we pulled in school (Jo's note: I was always a perfect angel) because often talking to the teenagers is like talking to a wall. Thankfully the majority of the children we teach are young and therefore still pleasant.

It should be noted that they still use the strap in Korea (something that we are neither allowed or inclined to do). As guests in this country we generally refrain from commenting on the local practices but the use of the strap is something that greatly bothers us. One of Shayne's students had to wear a bandage for a few days after one of the Korean middle school teachers punished him.

This practice is something that many Korean parents disagree with though so its use might not last forever.

Aright, we are near completion of this post but before we go any further we have to issue a warning. What's below is both graphic and brutal. We highly recommend that any children or those with heart problems stop reading immediately.




Are you still here? Are you sure you want to see this?





No really, it might be wise to leave. Once you see this you will never be the same.





Alright, you asked for it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you....

THE SQUAT TOILET OF FURY

This badboy is in our school and it's what we face every time we drink too much water or allow our bodies to process food. They are all over Korea and unless you are a regular practitioner of Yoga they are a little hard to get used you and seem as scary as....well we can't actually think of anything that's as scary as these toilets.

Here's hoping that your days are long and your toilets are full sized.

Cheers

Shayne and Jo

Update

Just a quick update to let you all know that we're still alive. We haven't posted for a few days because we both got a pretty bad cold, and we were concentrating more on sipping chicken noodle soup than writing blog entries.

Shayne got the cold first (probably from some eight year old coughing on him in class...why do kids never cover their mouths?), but I was winning the battle until that wild Ulsan foreigners pub took me out. There was enough smoke hovering in that room to put a hive of bees to sleep, and it completely broke down my immune system. By the end of the night my throat was raw, my eyes were burning, my head hurt, and I wasn't even drunk. By the next morning I had a stuffy nose with aches and pains to boot.

I managed to go to work on the Monday, but that too took it's toll and I was forced to take a sick day yesterday (only four left now, here's hoping I don't get the bird flu). With the help of some homemade curry sent home by our boss, a full roll of toilet paper, and a lot of sleep, I was doing much better by this morning (Shayne's note - It was like a scene from the Exorcist. I kept waiting for her head to spin around and shoot out green vomit). Right now Shayne and I only have a bit of a cough and the sniffles. We wanna' send a shout out to all of the people who prayed for our recovery. Thanks again Harman.

Anyways, if that little drama didn't rivet you, we should have some more interesting things coming up to post about. We're planning weekend trips to Seoul and Busan pretty soon - half because we feel foolish having not explored the rest of Korea yet, and half because Ulsan offers nothing interesting enough to send home as Christmas gifts...unless you like golden pigs (and really, who doesn't?).

Also, in a couple of weeks Shayne and I will be heading up a weekend "English Camp" which is basically us feeding and supervising 10 unruly Korean students overnight at our boss's holiday apartment. I have this sinking feeling that karma is about to catch up with me, and I will be punished for all those times at Brownie Camp when I convinced the other little girls that axe murderers were hiding in the woods (causing innumerable nightmares that the adults had to deal with). Sigh. At least we get overtime.

Jo

Ulsan Gone Wild

Greetings

Having spent a combined 11 years or so at university (sigh) we have spent our fair share of nights at small bars listening to local bands and downing watered-down drinks. As such we have generally avoided the local pub scene here as it basically only offers two options: 1) the Korean pubs that mostly serve beverages we don't care for, or 2) the three or four foreigner pubs that appear to be exact replicas of the college pubs we have grown tired of.

But last night one of the pubs was celebrating its birthday and had a lineup of bands scheduled all night long. Our friend Adamo was playing a set and in the end the desire to hear good music battled the desire to avoid pubs, and before we knew it we were on or way across town in search of the establishment.

It was about a quarter the size of the pub back at my university but it seemed to have twice as many people in it as I ever saw at the one back home. It was pretty nuts as it was hardly bigger than my apartment but filled with what seemed like thousands of people.

It was also owned by a Canadian and decorated with all things Canada. It was nice to be surrounded by the maple leaf and English-speaking people for a few hours.

I don't think that I caught the name of any of the bands but this one was pretty good. The lead singer was Canadian and although he won't be challenging Pavarotti in a sing-off any time soon he had did a good job building the energy in the room. The highlight of the set was a rendition of the Beastie Boy's "You Gotta Fight" which sung by 200 drunken people actually sounded better than the original version.


Hmmm, I don't actually remember anything about this band other than that they weren't from Ulsan. The second guitarist in the red shirt (in the background) actually recognized Jo and walked up to our table to ask if she was indeed Joanna Groves. It seems he went to UVIC when Jo was chair of the Students' Union. He was a little intoxicated and went off about how she was famous. I was too busy being jealous to really pick up the rest of the conversation though. The low point came when I stood up and told him that I too used to be someone and was willing to give him an autograph. Although it scared him away and frightened both Jo and our friends I think the rest of the bar was excited to know that the actual ABE rep from the 2003 OUCSAK executive was in the room with them.



This is our friend Adamo rocking a cover of Snoop Dog's "Gin and Juice" while wearing an appropriate hat. His was by far the best set and he treated us to some of the most creative covers I had heard on an acoustic guitar in a long time. The set list included Prince's "When Doves Cry", Outkast's "Hey Ya", and several classics by Nirvana and the Foo Fighters.

Adamo is only the second person I have ever met that actually saw Nirvana play live. That alone makes him cool (the hat just adds to it).


Ahh there's nothing quite as Canadian as Poutine. Well, maybe Anne Murray, but that's a post for a different day.

For anyone reading who isn't Canadian, Poutine is french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy.

I was really excited when I found out the pub had Poutine on the menu. Gravy is really rare here and I didn't think that you could even buy cheese curd anywhere in the Republic. It turns out that you can't as the poutine came covered in regular cheese. Although it wouldn't even be good enough to be sold at a 7-11 in Canada, I must say it was the best Poutine I have had in Korea.

As a side note, my friend Harman once ate a giant plate of Poutine 5 nights in a row. I think he's still recovering at some hospital in Quebec. It was simultaneously the stupidest and bravest act I have ever witnessed.


Here's a photo of our friend's Kate and Adamo. He's from Australia and she's from Scotland and they met in Japan. I'm trying to convince them to settle in Canada as it's a nice middle ground option for where to live.

After a few hours of drinks and live music we started to notice a change in the air. No it wasn't the smoke (which, by the way, was unbearable) or even the smell from all of the people in an un-airconditoned room.

It was that people were becoming...hmmm...shall we say...more friendly.

At first it was a few catcalls, but then clothes started flying off and people started to get a little crazy.

A few minutes more and it became clear that we were witnessing a scene from "ULSAN GONE WILD."

( I used my super duper Paint Skills to block out all identities)

Here's a group of guys after taking their shirts off and singing some strange song about the women they like. It seems that frats exist everywhere in the world, although I think these guys might have been in a rugby team.



Here's another photo of the night's festivities. Although I managed to keep all of my clothes on I did manage to get a nice photo of Jo streaking across the street in the front of the pub leading a group of people to the Quads.

Anyway, that was our night at the pub. Jo and I are kind of lame these days and prefer to hang out with a small group of friends at home rather then going out and drinking, so who knows when we will go back.

The music was great though. Maybe I can just pay one of the bands to play in our living room as that would solve the problem.

Cheers

Shayne

The Doppelganger Effect

Greetings

A lot of you have been bugging us to post about our experiences at work. So far I have avoided doing it because after I leave work I usually like to forget that it even exists, ha.

But I promise you that next week we’ll post a big blog about teaching ESL in Korea and what our experiences have been like so far in the classroom.

Until then you will have to settle for an introduction to some of the children I teach. One of the tasks that an English teacher often has is naming the Korean children. Sure, little Bom Suk already has a Korean name but he needs an English name too. Last week I was given the task of assigning English names to a classroom of 12 year old children. Although it was a little silly I took the task in stride and did the best job I could.

As such, I officially present to you my 3:30 class:

Here's little Melodee. She has the busiest mouth of all the students and not only is she full of piss and vinegar but she's proud of it. She loves to be in charge and god help any of the boys when she's angry.



Meet little Heather. Or as I call her, the enforcer. Sure she looks cute in this picture but she throws a vicious right hook and uses it on anyone who makes fun of Blueberry Creek. She's also naturally maternalistic and was the only student to show any concern when I nearly died from the Korean flu.



This is Julee and man can she talk. For hours and hours and hours. Sometimes she drinks too much juice and tells us all what she really thinks of us, good times.


This little lady killer is Harman. Sure Harman's technically a last name but I think it works. He can argue and argue and argue. Sigh, just like the real deal. Only this one is much more advanced with his oratory skills. Here is an example of a debate from earlier today:

Shayne - Well to be honest Harman I always believed Kugelmann's interpretation of Marx was far too labour orientated.

Harman - My apple is red.

Shayne - Why yes, that is a good point. I can see that your apple is indeed red. I concede defeat.



This little cutie is Sheri. She once waited 7 years for little Russ to ask her to the big dance, but that's just the kind of patience she has. Sheri hates it when the other students fight and always tries to get in the middle. Although when you push her too hard she explodes and reminds you who is really in charge.


Haha, this is Jay. He's always nagging me about getting a real job and a haircut. For some reason he loves the Liberal party and isn't willing to admit that the NDP are the future.


Meet little Michael of the Clan Ouelette. He doesn't speak English...or oddly enough that much Korean either. He has terrible taste in movies and spends most of his time on MSN instead of running the class pub.


Meet little Rick. He doesn't say a lot but when he does it's important. He also thinks he can fix anything and one time he built a deck in the back of the classroom. A week later it collapsed and little Dustin fell through it. Poor little guy.


Last but not least is little Rob. Haha this kid is as slippery as they come. Not only has he mastered the art of manipulation at the ripe old age of 10, but he's got a degree from the school of hard knocks. He's also badass enough to rock an earring making him much cooler than the real deal. He spends most of his time trying to get little Michael to actually work and talking about the time he ran for class president.

Well there ya have it, all of the English names I was creative enough to come up with. This post was nothing but in-jokes, so for most of you I apologize. It was the only way I could remember all of their names. Ha, my favourite one is Harman. I'm reinventing the English language one student at a time.

Cheers

Shayne

Hey Mr. Trampoline Man

Greetings

Today marks the end of our second month in Korea. I can’t believe how fast the time is flying by as it seems like just two months ago we were leaving Canada. Because it’s such a monumental day I wanted to share with you something that is uniquely Korean.

It’s kind of funny but whenever I’m walking around Ulsan I’m always thinking of how I can share what see with you through the blog. Some things stand out as obvious entries but other things have to be worked on to make them half way interesting on paper.

That being said from the moment I saw the following I knew that I wanted to write about it.

From a quick glimpse it sort of looks like a shack or maybe some kind of antiquated bomb shelter. The first day that I walked by I knew that I was in love. I didn’t know what it was or what it was used for but I knew that it was ugly, gigantic, and therefore cool.

Upon a deeper inspection it turned out that it was a massive trampoline. Or rather it’s a series of trampolines tied together and covered with tarps and netting.

What makes it truly cool is that it's located right beside my academy and another elementary school. I couldn't even imagine how fun this beast must be if you were seven years old. Hell, it would be fun if you were 24 years olds.

It seems to be owned or at least run by a strange old man. Using the skills we learned over our collective nine years of university experience we gave him the imaginative name of " Trampoline Man".

He collects a small fee from the children and in turn they get to jump on it for a while. The old guy always smiles at us so I was a little worried when he stopped showing up. It seems that the children just jump for free these days. I don't know if he has turned his back on capitalism and is promoting communism by letting the children run the trampoline themselves or if he's having some sort of free week long promotion.

Regardless I have included the following picture as a tribute to him.

Here you can see the chair that he normally collects his fee from. So here's to him, master of the trampoline and master of the bouncing industry.


I included this picture to show you just how close the thing is to the street. I always imagine some poor heavy kid jumping too hard and flying through the roof onto the street. Not that this thing would ever be allowed in Canada in the first place (whether that's a good or bad thing I will leave for you to decide) but I think that its closeness to the road would induce cardiac arrest in most parents.

Here's a view from above it. I climbed a tree and took the pictures while holding on with one hand. That's the kind of commitment I have to both this blog and to you, the reader. Speaking of risking your life, look at this bad boy. It seems to be held together by glue and good intentions. Ha, I wonder if they would let me bounce on it. If so, I can test my theory about some poor heavy individual bouncing right onto the street.


Here's an extreme close-up on the rigging. I hope this boy has his tetanus shots because he's going to need them. I'm pretty impressed by the setup overall and kind of wish that things like this were allowed back in Canada.

Our children are growing up scared of their own shadows and glued to computer screens while Korean children risk death by bouncing on something that's about as safe as betting on the Vancouver Canucks to win the Stanley Cup (sure it was a cheap joke but hey nothing wrong with that).

These things are actually all over the city. Some are nicer but some make this look like the Hilton of four ring trampoline structures.

As of this moment I'm going to add getting a photo of the trampoline man to our list of quests that include finding the beautiful beaches, and finding myself a nice cold slurpee.

Today was two months in Korea. Tomorrow will be two months and one day in Korea. Funny how that works.

Cheers

Shayne

Roof Tops of Ulsan

Sometimes, after two months of staying somewhere new, you discover something great that was right under your nose the whole time and makes you feel a little foolish for not exploring your surroundings more thoroughly. This is how we felt this past Sunday.

We were spending another lazy Sunday afternoon doing nothing in particular, when in a sudden surge of energy we decided to finally climb the remaining stories of our building, just to see what was there. Instead of a disappointing dead end, we found...an open door...and a pile of junk.


Unsure of what this door could be, with trepidation we passed over the threshold, but instead of being transported to Narnia, Never Never Land, or some strange alternate dimension, we simply discovered the roof.

And we felt like idiots.


For two months this magnificent view with its refreshing sea breeze has been hidden to us. We have been huddled away in our apartment, lying underneath our air conditioner, and occasionally peeking outside to see what the rest of Ulsan was up to, and all the time this huge, untapped roof-top balcony waited to be discovered.


This was one of those times when I wished we had one of those panoramic cameras. Here's a view from the roof. Past the rooftops you can see the harbour filled with ships, as it usually is.


Another view a little to the left of the last picture. Just over that hill is the small pine forest we told you about a few months ago.



This is the five-street intersection just below our front windows. Despite the fact that these streets are no bigger than alleyways and nowhere near the main roads, this intersection is always busy...even in the middle of the night.



Here is a bird's eye view of our neighborhood park from Shayne's playground post. It actually looks quite pleasant from this angle.



And here is evidence of what our neighbors really use this roof for: as a junk repository. It's a good thing for us that the roof is really big - when we come up here we'll try to avoid the junk piles as much as possible.

Anyways, now that we've found this, we're left wondering what other gems are hidden just out of sight. Next time we'll tell you about the olympic-sized swimming pool in the basement, the foreign food import store right next door, and the deserted white sand tropical beach that's just a 10 minute walk from our place.

Until then,
Jo

Green and Orange and Red oh my!!!!

Greetings

We had hoped to be able to write about our quest for the perfect beach this weekend but sadly it was not meant to be. Due to the weather and our own general laziness we never left the apartment today. Instead I will tell you a tale that will shock you to your very core. A story of love, loss, and man's quest to understand his surroundings.

Without further ado let me begin:

They call me Ishmael; hmmm sorry I think that’s been used.

Ok, here we go again, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Nope that won’t do either. We need something more original, something with flare.

It was a dark and stormy night. Ah that’s it.

It was a dark and stormy night when Joanna and I first discovered what would change our lives forever.

We were walking downtown towards the Lotte movie theatre when out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of the familiar green, orange and red that had once served as my place of employment, my close friend, and my bringer of cold slurpee wonderfulness. Yes we did indeed discover a 7-11 in Ulsan.

Although I make a lot of jokes on this site, I can honestly say without a hint of humour or satire that I ran towards the 7-11 like a scene from one of those bad sex education videos that show two lovers running towards each other in slow motion.

After a few months of blindly stumbling around Korean stores hoping to simply buy the right products this beautiful monument of confectionary goodness was a site for sore eyes.

Here's a photo of Jo assuring me that we were actually entering a 7-11. I was afraid that when we got close enough to the building we would find out that it was a 7-1-1 or some other kind of knockoff that would inevitably be a let down.

This is the part of the story of where you can choose what kind of ending it will have. If you want to believe that your dear writer walked inside and drank his beloved slurpees until he was full then close the browser and have a great day.

But, dear reader, if you want to know what really happened then I recommend that you keep reading this epic tale.



Having gone two months with out a slurpee I was ready to trade my soul for one (or at least pay a fair amount of money for one). Upon racing into the 7-11 I couldn't spot one anywhere but I kept my hopes high as I examined the room. As you can see from the photo above from a quick glance a Korean 7-11 looks exactly like a Canadian 7-11.


It was during my walk through the candy aisle where I first began to realize that I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Although you can find a tonne of Canadian/American candy in Korea, sadly they don't offer any of my favorites. If you like skittles, MnM's, Mentos, Kit Kats, Snickers, Twix, or Mr. Big this is the country for you. It's strange, but it seems that no matter what store you are in those are the only western candy bars that are offered.

As I'm a Big Turk man I have had to abandon western candy and switch to its Korean cousins. Luckily for me the Koreans make a mean candy bar. If you blow up the photo you can see the Crunky bar on the third shelf. This bar has helped us through many a night and I'm sure Jo will be bringing a few boxes home with her.

As a side note, if you look at the picture you can see a few boxes of Halls. Jo still points to this picture and laughs at me. Before coming here I loaded up on lots of medical goods including a giant box of Halls. I was scared that I would come down with a sore throat and not be able to get a similar product, so I did what any intelligent person would have done and I bought 40 packages of Halls. So now we have a closest full of Halls and are surrounded by a hundred of stores that sell them. Sigh, you can't win them all.

Anyway, let's get back to 7-11

This section of the store is what really brought it home that the Korean 7-11 might not be the same as the one I know and love. The Koreans really dig their meat on a stick and its available everywhere. I swear that you can probably buy a piece of meat at any store in Korea.

Picking up your dry cleaning? Don't forget your meat on a stick.

Buying a brand new BMW? Well, you can't leave until you get your complimentary meat on a stick.

The coolest items are the little tubes of meat at the bottom of the photo. Generally they aren't refrigerated so we have been a little scared to try them. But I can still appreciate the genius of putting meat into tubes and selling it to the masses.

The 7-11 at home has a beef jerky section. The Korean version has a squid jerky section. There are probably 30 types of freeze-dried varieties in this photo. The coolest one is third from the top on the left. It's assorted nuts, squid, and anchovies. Together at last.

Here's a photo of me doing my world famous point at a bag of something we couldn't quite identify. They tasted like chicken and felt like silk worms. I highly recommend them.

I don't drink coffee but if I did I would load up on these little fellows. It's a cup, a spoon, and a mixture of coffee, sugar, and cream: Just add hot water. Who needs machines when you have these individual packages of coffee? If one of you back home steals this idea and becomes a millionaire please don't forget to at least send me a decent Christmas present.



Here's Vanna, I mean Jo, holding a bottle of one of Asia's best kept secrets: Pocari Sweat. You can get this fine product in Korea and Japan at all fine retail outlets. It tastes as good as its name sounds. They are marketed as sports drinks that help to replenish you after a hard workout, but the person who okay'ed the name of the product should be fired as it doesn't really translate properly into English. Though it does make for a damn funny commercial:

Korean sports athlete - "When I'm thirsty I reach for a cool glass of Pocari Sweat."

Announcer - "Pocari sweat, for those times when your own sweat just isn't enough."



This photo is pretty similar to what you would find in an American 7-11, copious amounts of beer. The only thing really of note are the bottles on the second shelf from the bottom. That's soju and its Grrrrrrrreat. Its about 70 cents a bottle and not only is it 20 percent alcohol, but it's almost tasteless so you can pretty much mix it with anything. Although we haven't yet tried it, Pocari sweat mixed with soju comes highly recommended.



I think that this section holds the Korean equivalent of the Canadian wine in a box phenomena. The most expensive bottle is 14 dollars and the cheapest goes for a mere dollar. And of course, if you feel the need to celebrate you can pick up a bottle of the two dollar champagne.

It's nice to know that no matter where you are in the world 7-11 will provide you with cheap crappy booze.

Well sports fans, sadly there were no slurpees to be found. The 7-11 here is vastly different from its Canadian cousin and really offered nothing that couldn't be found at any generic Korean store.

Like the search for the black sand beaches the search for a slurpee continues.

If any of you want to send me one through the mail it would be much appreciated. We can worry about the logistics of this at a later time.

Think of me the next time you see a 7-11 in your city.

Cheers

Shayne