Green and Orange and Red oh my!!!!

Greetings

We had hoped to be able to write about our quest for the perfect beach this weekend but sadly it was not meant to be. Due to the weather and our own general laziness we never left the apartment today. Instead I will tell you a tale that will shock you to your very core. A story of love, loss, and man's quest to understand his surroundings.

Without further ado let me begin:

They call me Ishmael; hmmm sorry I think that’s been used.

Ok, here we go again, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Nope that won’t do either. We need something more original, something with flare.

It was a dark and stormy night. Ah that’s it.

It was a dark and stormy night when Joanna and I first discovered what would change our lives forever.

We were walking downtown towards the Lotte movie theatre when out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of the familiar green, orange and red that had once served as my place of employment, my close friend, and my bringer of cold slurpee wonderfulness. Yes we did indeed discover a 7-11 in Ulsan.

Although I make a lot of jokes on this site, I can honestly say without a hint of humour or satire that I ran towards the 7-11 like a scene from one of those bad sex education videos that show two lovers running towards each other in slow motion.

After a few months of blindly stumbling around Korean stores hoping to simply buy the right products this beautiful monument of confectionary goodness was a site for sore eyes.

Here's a photo of Jo assuring me that we were actually entering a 7-11. I was afraid that when we got close enough to the building we would find out that it was a 7-1-1 or some other kind of knockoff that would inevitably be a let down.

This is the part of the story of where you can choose what kind of ending it will have. If you want to believe that your dear writer walked inside and drank his beloved slurpees until he was full then close the browser and have a great day.

But, dear reader, if you want to know what really happened then I recommend that you keep reading this epic tale.



Having gone two months with out a slurpee I was ready to trade my soul for one (or at least pay a fair amount of money for one). Upon racing into the 7-11 I couldn't spot one anywhere but I kept my hopes high as I examined the room. As you can see from the photo above from a quick glance a Korean 7-11 looks exactly like a Canadian 7-11.


It was during my walk through the candy aisle where I first began to realize that I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Although you can find a tonne of Canadian/American candy in Korea, sadly they don't offer any of my favorites. If you like skittles, MnM's, Mentos, Kit Kats, Snickers, Twix, or Mr. Big this is the country for you. It's strange, but it seems that no matter what store you are in those are the only western candy bars that are offered.

As I'm a Big Turk man I have had to abandon western candy and switch to its Korean cousins. Luckily for me the Koreans make a mean candy bar. If you blow up the photo you can see the Crunky bar on the third shelf. This bar has helped us through many a night and I'm sure Jo will be bringing a few boxes home with her.

As a side note, if you look at the picture you can see a few boxes of Halls. Jo still points to this picture and laughs at me. Before coming here I loaded up on lots of medical goods including a giant box of Halls. I was scared that I would come down with a sore throat and not be able to get a similar product, so I did what any intelligent person would have done and I bought 40 packages of Halls. So now we have a closest full of Halls and are surrounded by a hundred of stores that sell them. Sigh, you can't win them all.

Anyway, let's get back to 7-11

This section of the store is what really brought it home that the Korean 7-11 might not be the same as the one I know and love. The Koreans really dig their meat on a stick and its available everywhere. I swear that you can probably buy a piece of meat at any store in Korea.

Picking up your dry cleaning? Don't forget your meat on a stick.

Buying a brand new BMW? Well, you can't leave until you get your complimentary meat on a stick.

The coolest items are the little tubes of meat at the bottom of the photo. Generally they aren't refrigerated so we have been a little scared to try them. But I can still appreciate the genius of putting meat into tubes and selling it to the masses.

The 7-11 at home has a beef jerky section. The Korean version has a squid jerky section. There are probably 30 types of freeze-dried varieties in this photo. The coolest one is third from the top on the left. It's assorted nuts, squid, and anchovies. Together at last.

Here's a photo of me doing my world famous point at a bag of something we couldn't quite identify. They tasted like chicken and felt like silk worms. I highly recommend them.

I don't drink coffee but if I did I would load up on these little fellows. It's a cup, a spoon, and a mixture of coffee, sugar, and cream: Just add hot water. Who needs machines when you have these individual packages of coffee? If one of you back home steals this idea and becomes a millionaire please don't forget to at least send me a decent Christmas present.



Here's Vanna, I mean Jo, holding a bottle of one of Asia's best kept secrets: Pocari Sweat. You can get this fine product in Korea and Japan at all fine retail outlets. It tastes as good as its name sounds. They are marketed as sports drinks that help to replenish you after a hard workout, but the person who okay'ed the name of the product should be fired as it doesn't really translate properly into English. Though it does make for a damn funny commercial:

Korean sports athlete - "When I'm thirsty I reach for a cool glass of Pocari Sweat."

Announcer - "Pocari sweat, for those times when your own sweat just isn't enough."



This photo is pretty similar to what you would find in an American 7-11, copious amounts of beer. The only thing really of note are the bottles on the second shelf from the bottom. That's soju and its Grrrrrrrreat. Its about 70 cents a bottle and not only is it 20 percent alcohol, but it's almost tasteless so you can pretty much mix it with anything. Although we haven't yet tried it, Pocari sweat mixed with soju comes highly recommended.



I think that this section holds the Korean equivalent of the Canadian wine in a box phenomena. The most expensive bottle is 14 dollars and the cheapest goes for a mere dollar. And of course, if you feel the need to celebrate you can pick up a bottle of the two dollar champagne.

It's nice to know that no matter where you are in the world 7-11 will provide you with cheap crappy booze.

Well sports fans, sadly there were no slurpees to be found. The 7-11 here is vastly different from its Canadian cousin and really offered nothing that couldn't be found at any generic Korean store.

Like the search for the black sand beaches the search for a slurpee continues.

If any of you want to send me one through the mail it would be much appreciated. We can worry about the logistics of this at a later time.

Think of me the next time you see a 7-11 in your city.

Cheers

Shayne